


where's the tylenol?

by Dresupi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Established Relationship, F/M, Holidays, Humor, Sledding, christmas vacation references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 18:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13013418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: Darcy is pretty sure this is the worst decision she's ever made...But damn if it isn't the most fun.





	where's the tylenol?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fanaticreader16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanaticreader16/gifts).



> December 14 - Superfast sledding à la Christmas Vacation
> 
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> For sarbear1610
> 
> Special thank you to thestanceyg for beta reading! <3

Darcy watched as Clint pulled on the zipper of his coat until it reached his chin, yanking the hood over his head and walking with purpose up the hill in front of them.  The hill Bucky and Steve had been sledding down all morning.  

Sledding wasn’t really the most appropriate term.  A better would would be jettison. They were jettisoning themselves down the hill while Sam cheered them on from the sky.    

“Clint… Clint… I cannot condone this, dude.  You are going to  _ hurt _ yourself.  Possibly maim or kill yourself,” she pleaded.  “This could possibly be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.  And that’s saying something.  Because you’re  _ Hawkeye _ .”    

“Darcy, Darcy, Darcy…”  Clint shook his head and clucked his tongue.  “I was  _ triple-dog-dared _ .  Do you know what a triple-dog-dare means to me?  Do you? I take dog-dares very seriously...” He glanced over at her with a knowing expression on his face. “Lucky?  Is a dog?  And I refuse to let him down. He is counting on me.”  

“Clint.  I am not a heathen.  I understand the significance of a dog-dare as much as everyone else.  But there is a  _ reason _ we left those on the playground.  You are an adult.  You’re in your thirties.  This is going to hurt. Do you  _ know _ how much falling down hurts as an adult?  I mean… I know you  _ do _ .  But I need you to look at me and tell me you know how much this will hurt if it doesn’t work.” 

“I jumped off a skyscraper once.”  

“Right.  So just because you jumped off a skyscraper means you have to go take Bucky and Steve up on this stupid dare?”  

“They dog-dared  _ you _ too, Darcy.”

“Right, and do you see me traipsing up to the top of a hill to ride down to the bottom on a buttered-up vibranium shield? No.  Because I know how wrong this could go and I  _ know _ my limits.”

“You could ride down with me?” he offered.  “I’ll cushion your fall?”       

“You want  _ me _ to slide down a hill on Steve’s shield, which has been sprayed with cooking spray—?”  

“With a polymer sealant.  Made by Stark industries.  Patent pending,” he corrected her with a cheeky grin.  

She sighed heavily. “With a  _ polymer sealant _ .  created by Stark Industries—maker of murder bots that destroy entire cities—on the  _ back _ of said shield… on the behest of Steve ‘dermatologists-hate-him’ Rogers and Bucky ‘fell-off-a-train-and-survived’ Barnes?”

“No!” he scoffed, laughing.  “You’d be on the  _ front _ .”    

“Oh, on the  _ front _ ?  Well, that changes everything…” she muttered.  

“Look, you’re already climbing up the hill.  It’s the easiest way to get down.  And there’s a safety net so no one gets hurt.”  He leaned over and checked her hip.  “AND, there’s cuddles and more hot chocolate afterwards?”  

“Are you saying there wouldn’t be if I didn’t go?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.  “Are you cutting me off, Clint?”  

He snorted.  “Hell no.  I’m just saying… you’d get to the cuddles sooner.  Because like.  You’d already be at the bottom and I wouldn’t have to wait for you to climb down…”  

She groaned.  “Fine.  Let’s do this thing…”  

“WOOO!”  Clint whooped and grabbed her hand, raising it in the air in victory before dragging her the last few feet to the top, where Steve, Bucky and Wanda were waiting.  

He took the shield from Steve, who was smirking and holding it out in front of him.  

“You taking your girl down the slope  _ with _ you, Barton?”  Steve asked, grinning over at Darcy.  “Interesting tactic.  Maybe I should take Wanda?”  

Wanda snorted from behind them.  “You have  _ got _ to be joking… You’re all idiots.  And  _ this _ is a death trap.  If Darcy has any sense, she’ll join me over here in the life trap.”

Darcy thought it was humorous how  _ both _ things were traps according to Wanda, but all the same, she was kind of committed to her idiot, so she simply shrugged and followed him to the crest of the hill.  “I dunno what to tell you, Wanda.  Any sense I’ve ever been accused of having has flown out the window since I started dating Clint…”  

“I’d say it left about five minutes  _ before _ that happened,”  Bucky muttered under his breath. 

Clint scoffed.  “What are you talking about, Barnes?  Smartest thing she ever did was date me.”  

Darcy thought maybe she might agree just a little bit with Bucky, especially now that she was settling onto the front of Steve’s shield with Clint behind her.  The hill was tall.  Super tall.  And it was snowing like crazy and she couldn’t even see the bottom.  

“Oh my Thor…” she muttered, gripping the sides of the shield like a lifeline.  

“Don’t worry, girlie.  There’s a safety net at the bottom.  And I’d never let anything happen to you.”  

His tone warmed her significantly, but it did little to quell her erratic heartbeat as Steve and Bucky starte counting down from three.  

“THREE!”  

She turned her head to face Clint.  “Too late to back out now, right?”  

“TWO!”  

Clint grinned and kissed her cheek.  “It’s gonna be fun, I promise.”  

“ONE!”  

She squeezed her eyes shut as they shot forward, skating across the snow and even going airborne for a few seconds.  

Her stomach felt like it was going to fly out of her mouth any minute, along with the double hot chocolate she’d downed before walking up the hill.  

The safety net Clint had been talking about turned out to be Sam circling with his wings and an actual facts net that caught them and slowed them down.  

She ended up face first in a snow bank, choking on her laughter, and maybe a little snow.  

Sam and Clint joined her, pulling her out of the snow and inspecting her for injuries.  There were none, of course, but she couldn’t stop laughing.

“You okay, Darce?” Clint asked, looking midway between amused and worried.  

“Dude, I am  _ great _ .  Let’s do that again!”  

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me some comments! So I can be one of the jolliest bunch of ELVES this side of the nuthouse. ;) (I edited since I rated this G)


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